Kale Skeptic Pillows

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'What are you eating now?'

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

'Needs more kale.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Woman and scales.

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Please seat to be weighted.

How Kale Took Over the World

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'Your weight second opinion.'

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'LIAR!'

'You lie!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Look, all I'm asking is that you turn your head, and I'll just read my weight to you.'

'I love me. . . I love me not!'

"Label says it's organic. That just means it's made in the State of Organ."

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.