Kale Enthusiast Pillows

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

Eric didn't know it yet, but he was about to fall in love with creamed kale.

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

Least popular puppet ever: kale monster!

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Well did he?"

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'What are you eating now?'

'Needs more kale.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Oh god, I've totally wasted my life.'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

Tall tales and Short stories

Signs that colas are making you fat. . .

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

'You are what you eat!'

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

'Have you tried not watching it, sir?'

"I'm staying healthy during lock-down by increasing my consumption of kale. . .the 'K' is silent."

A cab-driver dropping a hint.