Jury Duty Jokesters Pillows

'Now, don't yell, but I forgot where I sequestered the jury!'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

"take your best shot, counselor."

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

". . . and that's the story of why you should find this defendant. . . GUILTY!"

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"They're eating out of my hand but that doesn't guarantee an acquittal."

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

'The stupidity of the defendant's actions was directly proportional to the number of people watching him.'

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we can parse the nuances of motive forever, but isn't it much more satisfying just to deal with broad stereotypes?"

'I win some, I lose some. But I always try and send the jury home in a good mood.'

HEY!

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

"And this is the juvenile court."