Jurisprudence Junkie Pillows

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Let's take in a trial."

Upholding the Law

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Law Offices

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

McWit Legal College

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

US Gun Control Debates.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Clarence Thomas

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!