Jurisprudence Junkie Pillows

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

McWit Legal College

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

Clarence Thomas

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Law Offices

US Gun Control Debates.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg