Jurisprudence Enthusiast Gifts

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Mou...Man trap!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'