Junk Food Junkie Gifts

"You've got the blood pressure of a teenager ? who lives on junk food, TV and the computer."

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

"How's the diet going?"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Walmart Shopper

'I eat plenty of fast food, but I just seem to be getting slower and slower!'

'I'm not sure but I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk and take out.'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

Homo Gamus

Belly-Swelling Tooth-Rotting Pop - Now With Up To 10 Spoonfuls Of Sugar.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"This is a real good deal. If you take the Gigaburger Family Four, you get free liposuction vouchers."

"There you go...I'll have the paramedics on standby...."

'My doctor told me I needed to curb my appetite.'

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

Football Food.

"Hmmm, for some reason I want a snack!"

A Great Country

"I hate to agree with the likes of Pam Anderson...but it's clear. God has punished Colonel Sanders buy turning him to stone...right there in the Kentucky Capitol Rotunda!" "Pssst...Pat? It's a statue!!"

Day 2 of the Focus Groups: We Loosen Our Pants

"They already offered these jobs to robots. They said they weren't that desperate."

'At least he's honest.'

Sure, I like worms, but I'm sure I like them better with a side of fries.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

'Just fries? Certainly Sir. Would you like that with fries?'

'Er, babe - Got ya i-pod on? Wanna crisp? Coke?'

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

'That's not what I meant when I said you needed to grow into your job.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."