Junior Sports Enthusiast Pillows

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Monica Seles

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Ratminton

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A day at the transgenic races

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Gary turns 40.

Saving a Heart

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Raheem Sterling