Playful Sports Enthusiast Pillows

"This is the story of the Three Liitle Pigskins and the Big Bad Wolf!"

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

A day at the transgenic races

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Ratminton

Raheem Sterling

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Gary turns 40.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Saving a Heart

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"