Kid Sports Enthusiast Pillows

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

Football Fans

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

A boy with a football

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

Ping Pong

"This is the story of the Three Liitle Pigskins and the Big Bad Wolf!"

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

'They play five innings or until six parents fall asleep, whichever comes first.'

This scrimmage, I'll assess your individual talents. Coach. I'll be checking out each of you! Though that would have been easier

I love Kung Fu.

'Soccer Mom's Diner.'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

"Mom, dad, how do you expect me to win if my parents can't rant and rave better than that? I wanna see you go completly berserk with an insane tantrum. Let's try it again."

Children trying to play table tennis