Junior Manager Gifts

'Would you mind if these junior managers have a go at assessing the profitability of your treatment?'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Fantasy Business Management

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Man looking at company organisation chart, he's at the very bottom.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Tim's marketing solutions

Boys Cooking

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

"Well, our toxic wastes are ten times more harmful thinner hazardous wastes."

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

'This doesn't look good.'

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

The Surly Yoof

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

"I need to reduce operating costs by 20 percent...so that means pay cuts for everybody. But since this move requires the skills of a highly trained manager...I'm giving myself a performance bonus.

"During Junior Executive training, Emily learned that power-mad toddies, bereft of honest opinions, climb the greasy ladder of corporate success by licking boots and suppressing controversial subjects. But the pay is very, very good."

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

"It's the latest directive from senior management about how to run a 'paperless office'!"

"By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it."