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"She's out at the moment. But, if you'd like to leave any malicious gossip, I'll make sure she gets it."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Family Joules: Part 5

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"What did Jesus order?"

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

Fishing.

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Fairy tale

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.