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News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

No News is Good News

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"What did Jesus order?"

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Jacques et Jille

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."