Jug Collectors Gifts

"Baseball's not a jug's game, you really need to be a pitcher"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Unemotional Support Animal

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"He looks so much like his dad."

His and Hers Wedding

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"Is your dog friendly?"

Sushi Train Spotters

"Hey! These are still good!!"

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Cow Pollen

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'