Judicial Systems Pillows

'It's time for your sentence. Which wrist would you like to be slapped on?'

'My conscience is clear. I've issued an apology to the families of anyone I wrongfully sentenced to death.'

Graduation at the executioner's school

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'