Justice Systems Pillows

"Behind one of these doors is a ferocious tiger. Behind the other is a beautiful lady. There might also be a tiger there, too. I buy so many tigers it's basically become a storage issue at this point."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"Now that's a win."

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Minority Report

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Anti-war libra.

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Stop and Birch