Judicial Philosopher Gifts

Neil Gorsuch

Trump and justice

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

"Been there, drunk that."

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

"Can you hear me now?"

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"I know what women want. Her lawyer told me."