Judges Of Children's Achievements Gifts

Modern Parenting Olympic Scoring System

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"You're welcome."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Wal-Mart Ruling

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Abortion Debates in the US

Rodin's Irish Judge

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Foreclosed

'Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest of us a bad name.'

Family courts.

"I'm the British Ambassador to the European Court of Human Rights."

'Whoa! - The activist judges will go NUTS with these!'

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

Fun with Fascism

Play It Safe

That's my son

Proud Mum.

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

'Boy, our son is sharp!'

No Prison is big enough for William Tweed

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'