Judaism Gifts

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

Bris

Pesach crime scene.

Look who's religious all of a sudden

Haman as a child

Passover wine - 'I will buy a decent cabaret next year.'

Lighting Chanukah candles was a matter of seconds for Puff the Magic Dragon

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'Yes, all at once!'

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

"My parents want me to have a bar mitzvah in Israel, but I'd rather have it in Yankee Stadium."

Safer Torah

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Some men find not shaving or cutting their hair during sefira particularly challenging.

David really shouldn't have skipped Tallis and Tefillin classes.

Passover flatness.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"Well this blows"

The Exobus

"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."

Jewish Music

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

The Spoils of Purim

King Solomon, wisest of all men, is stumped at last.

Seder in the Age of Corona Virus

Reb Berel had always been proud of his beard...until Reb Feivel arrived.

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

Lulav and Etrog Fencing

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

"There she is! The Holy Bubbha!"