Joyful Skeptic Pillows

Open House of Horrors

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'So help me, which god?'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

'Oh my god!'

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'I blame the internet.'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

'I can't see any future in my business.'

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

'I've traveled back in time to warn you...in the future you'll be charged a fee to watch television AND the commercials, you'll need a computer to hear music, and morons roam the streets with tiny phones they talk extremely loud into!'

'I can't believe you think that hypnotist was for real.'

"The Man Who Knew Enough"

"Today on Zoom she was like, 'I really think everything's going to be okay,' and I'm like, 'I always knew she was a conspiracy theorist!'"

'Pardon me, Miss - My therapist told me I should let my inner child out to play, so of course I'll be needing a sister...'

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."