Jovial Theologian Pillows

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"I was very good...delicious in fact."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Candid Camera store.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'The Saxon King' pub

Hot cross buns

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

Celebration in operating theatre.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

"Whew! I was afraid the Bible would be full of math since God told us to go forth and multiply."

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Mooning Moon

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

"Whatever he's having!"

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

Do you know what girls want?

'You called for tech support?'

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."