Jovial Drinker Pillows

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

Naysayers keep out.

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Pie chart of pub conversations

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Hot Cross Bun

"Hey! He must be watering down the beer.This is our fifth pint and we're still not talking rubbish."

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

Planting Bulbs.

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

Mrs. Claus's Annual Joke: 'Whoa...you're not going to work dressed like that, are you?'

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.