Jovial Taxpayer Pillows

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

'Oops! I should've gone to the bathroom before I came.'

Ad agency

Enthusiastic man

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

'Rudolf?'

Men discussing thier weight

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Man with Balloon