Jovial Medic Gifts

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Junior Doctor.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Celebration in operating theatre.

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

"I was very good...delicious in fact."

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

You're awfully cheerful for someone who's about to lose a murder case. You must have me confused with my client.

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

Why did you think the prenup lawyer gave me such a good deal?

'And this one's for humor in the line of duty.'

Technically Speaking

'You be the doctor this time and I'll file a malpractice suit.'

"Oh, yeah! Well, your mother doesn't know a molecule from barnacle."

Naysayers keep out.

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."