Jovial Medic Gifts

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Junior Doctor.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

"I was very good...delicious in fact."

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

Why did you think the prenup lawyer gave me such a good deal?

Technically Speaking

'You be the doctor this time and I'll file a malpractice suit.'

Naysayers keep out.

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"