Jovial Gambler Gifts

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'

Man at the winnings collection point in the bookie's is asleep.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Dog in casino.

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Complaints Desk

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Doctor's poker.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"What was Santa thinking calling me Dancer? I think I have two left feet..."

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'I thought she'd never leave.'

"Don't get exited Tommy, it isn't an A. I was just trying to get my pen to work, it's a D minus as usual."

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'