Jovial Gambler Gifts

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'

Man at the winnings collection point in the bookie's is asleep.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Dog in casino.

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Doctor's poker.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"What was Santa thinking calling me Dancer? I think I have two left feet..."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

"Don't get exited Tommy, it isn't an A. I was just trying to get my pen to work, it's a D minus as usual."

Going Shopping Together.