Jovial Educators Gifts

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

A salute of scouts

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Celebration in operating theatre.

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"Nice! Home school education has certainly changed since I was in school."

Off the wall legal advisor.

'Instead of giving you an apple, I thought a Droid might not be recalled.'

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

"Tell me more about these abandonment issues."

'Your punishment is to cut and paste ‘I will not misbehave in class' 500 times on your tablet.'

"I was very good...delicious in fact."

'You called for tech support?'

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

You're awfully cheerful for someone who's about to lose a murder case. You must have me confused with my client.

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.

Technically Speaking

"I don't put apples on teacher's desk anymore. I put app suggestions."

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

'I've just had a sex education class, so what was all that 'cabbage patch' rubbish you've been feeding me?!'

"Teacher, I brought you an Apple."