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The world on lockdown

'I'm writing an autobiography.'

'What's taking him so long?'

'Diary of a mad hoarder. Day one...'

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

The Diary

"The King suggests trying a gratitude journal."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Dear diary, stayed in again today...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Alien Diary

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Professional woman in pub

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

'Lost Diary'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"It's time to wake up!"

Records?

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Olga's Biological Clocks.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

Pound sign in an hourglass.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'DO you know what time we start here?'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."