Journal Junkie Pillows

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

Low Self-Esteem'Dear Diary, Sorry to bother you again.'

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'I need to go on a vacation. The boredom is getting to me. Every page in my journal says 'see previous page'.'

"Are you writing about me in your little journal?"

"Hang on, there was something in last week's 'Lancet'."

"I keep up with all the journals."

'I'm writing a popular blog.'

Media Studies Center - Out for a Feeding Frenzy.

Andre Gide

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

"His Youtube spiritual advisor said he'd be happier if he kept a gratitude journal."

Man Readig Paper

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

World Tour.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Away with the warmonger!"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."