Journaling Junkie Pillows

"I'm writing entries in my daily dairy diary."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Running

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

James decided to stay in that night.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Professional woman in pub

Jogging...

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

Dear Dairy

Fountain pen coming out of a man's head.

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Weditorials

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

'Lost Diary'

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Treadmillstone

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife