Journal Junkie Gifts

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

Low Self-Esteem'Dear Diary, Sorry to bother you again.'

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'I need to go on a vacation. The boredom is getting to me. Every page in my journal says 'see previous page'.'

"Are you writing about me in your little journal?"

"Hang on, there was something in last week's 'Lancet'."

"I keep up with all the journals."

'I'm writing a popular blog.'

Media Studies Center - Out for a Feeding Frenzy.

Andre Gide

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

"His Youtube spiritual advisor said he'd be happier if he kept a gratitude journal."

Man Readig Paper

Dear Diary, All I did today was eat, watch TV and make an appearance in "The Fusco Brothers." All in all, it was a pretty unproductive day, except for the eating and watching TV.

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

Dear diary, see yesterday's entry. Ditto.

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Away with the warmonger!"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.