Press Junkie Gifts

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A."

Trial by Media

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"You're fired."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

UK border controls relaxed.

Neo-International Law

"Who's got the hammer?"

Oligarchy

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Away with the warmonger!"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'If only every year was an election year.'