Jolly Roger Of Retweets Gifts

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

Man and bird

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

'Actually, I'm between reigns right now.'

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'Call you back. I've got an important tweet coming in.'

Rage-Tweeting Impeachment

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

Ad agency

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

Men discussing thier weight

'Rudolf?'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

'Oops! I should've gone to the bathroom before I came.'

'What about that Grandpa?'

'He ignores my commands. But he does follow me on Twitter.'

Unicycle with stabilisers