Jolly Questioner Pillows

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Garden.

Fleas Navidad.

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Merry Christmas"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Elf of the Month

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"Maybe this year..."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

C is for Cracker

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

God hounded by the media.