Jolly Clothing Enthusiast Pillows

'You're in luck. It comes in Large, Extra Large and Bowl Full Of Jelly.'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"That shirt is so last year."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'Believe me, I understand.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'You'll grow into it!'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

Santa Claus walks dogs

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

Beard, socks and sandals.

"Remind me to never take the shortcut through the Christmas Sweater workshop."

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'You're going to school dressed like that? I can hardly see your underwear!'

'Fairy friday.'

"Comfortable?"

'But you particularly wanted a sleeveless pullover!'

Singing Father Christmases.

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

Father Christmas lifting presents as a workout.

'Never, Ever...pull on a loose thread hanging from your shirt.'

"Is Thursday O.K. or do you need it sooner?"

'I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through ductwork.'

Help Support Santa Off-Season

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

'Mum! I'm cold!' - 'Put a jumper on.' - 'Mum! I'm still cold!' - 'Well, put another jumper on, then.' - 'Mum...' - 'Put a hat on!'

Toymakers Union, North Pole: 'I especially want to thank the little people who make it all happen - my elves.'