Jolly Being Enthusiasts Pillows

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

Clown on bike.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

If you're happy and you know it...

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

King and Jester

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'Believe me, I understand.'

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Frigid Cold

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

Santa Claus walks dogs

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

"I'm sure if we stand around here long enough, something funny will happen."

"So how many penguins does it take to change the northern lights?"

'You are here' T-shirt,

"Open mike night"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."