Jolly Old Souls Gifts

'Remember when they were babies and that was all padding?'

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

An old, dancing man holding a steaming cup

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

"Listen, everybody feels a little depressed around this time of year!"

'I waxed the runners.'

"Some are born old."

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"Yes, dear, you shall return. I know."

100th Birthday

'The only interesting thing your grandfather had was your grandmother.'

"It's cuz you're fat."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"You were right - at our age a heated mattress pad is the best aphrodisiac."

Jolly Roger

"The new year will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, and it will feel strikingly similar to the old year."

Aged Hippie Retirement Home: 'Free miles, free minutes - - what ever happened to free love?'

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Santa bending over under a Christmas tree with his bum showing as a little boy look on.

"What will it be today, my dear? Pantaloons or loons in the pants?"

Just around the corner..."Is it time, Boss, is it, huh, is it?" "Just a few more days!"

'Hey, baby-pucker up!...Come over here and give Santa a big ol'smoocheroo!'

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

Old man talking about how his attitude to politics has changed with age

Santa Claus

"He self identifies as old."

I'm young, yes, but not at heart

A man and woman ballroom dance.