Jolly Old Soul Pillows

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Candid Camera store.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

'The Saxon King' pub

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

An old, dancing man holding a steaming cup

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

'Constant euphoria is bound to cause some issues.'

Dancing Under The Air Conditioner

"Listen, everybody feels a little depressed around this time of year!"

"You can't fake throwing sticks this many times and expect to just waltz in here, Mr. Federman."

"Some are born old."

'I waxed the runners.'

'The only interesting thing your grandfather had was your grandmother.'

100th Birthday

"It's cuz you're fat."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"Yes, dear, you shall return. I know."

"I can always tell when Roger has had a good day."

"Whatever he's having!"

"You were right - at our age a heated mattress pad is the best aphrodisiac."

"What will it be today, my dear? Pantaloons or loons in the pants?"

"That's Bill Swenson. He got very big after he left us."

Santa bending over under a Christmas tree with his bum showing as a little boy look on.

Jolly Roger

"The new year will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, and it will feel strikingly similar to the old year."

'Remember when they were babies and that was all padding?'