Jolly Giant Advocate Pillows

'My dad's bigger than your dad' (Two overweight children compare their overweight fathers)

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

Children line up to talk to Santa

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

Santa Playing the Piano

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

'He's our newest recruit, a specialist in multi-jurisdictional consumer products..'

Ding dong merrily on us!

"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."

Santa Yoga

"I've made a Christmas list of topics not to be discussed at the table."

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

Christmas Spirit

'I've stayed in operation all these years because of my ability to adapt.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

'The problem with hibernating is that I miss out on all the Christmas fun every year...'

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

Rudolph - The Red-Nosed Influencer

Help Support Santa Off-Season

'Well, well, well -- seven hundred and fifty thousand counts of breaking and entering....'

Dirty Job Christmas

'You'll 'ave a lovely Christmas in ere, son. Just don't go too near the mistletoe.'

'With all your exports, the North Pole must have a really bad trade imbalance.'

'He's too grumpy for Dad - he must be Grandad!'

"Our next delegate will update us on the state of the polar ice caps."

"I thought we had them hooked on sugar."