Jolly Blogging Observer Gifts

"Let me finish my annual rant on the commercialization of Christmas before we go shopping."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Scientist seen on loch.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Paper Boy

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

"Inactivists"

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'This is a no rise office.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

Pyramid Garden

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

What's the best way to groom a neck-beard? Um

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

Do Not Laugh At The Bears.