Jolly Astronomers Gifts

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

Children line up to talk to Santa

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

Santa Playing the Piano

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'We've finally found a candidate that can really deliver.'

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

Mooning Moon

"I'm detecting a slight twinkle."

"Excuse me, but will you be long?"

When Astronomers Party.

Is someone trying to tell us something..?

'Look, director, there it is again. It appears every spring.'

"... Santa, eh? Do you have any form of identification?"

Ass-tronauts.

'I've stayed in operation all these years because of my ability to adapt.'

"Whatever you hit Captain it wasn't a bird. The only thing I can see in here is lot s of wrapping paper, broken toys and shattered antlers."

"Let me finish my annual rant on the commercialization of Christmas before we go shopping."

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

I'll play the streaky red meteor into the blue planet into corner black hole. Fat chance! You haven't made that shot since the dinosaurs were down there!

'I just hope the sun doesn't get rusty.'

"Obviously, behind all the jolliness there's a lot of rage."