Quirky Astronomer Gifts

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

Alien David statue

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

A Poem about Sand

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

Pavlov's Cat

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

London map drawn from memory.

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

"Please, George...not here!"

Early Scientific Fraud: Young Thomas Edison Tried to Pass off a Container Filled with Fireflies as an Incandescent Bulb.

Agricultural Failures: Hydroponic Livestock.

'No kidding? -- genuine Earth rocks?'

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

"Oh, don't worry, we just find this planet hilarious."

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."