Joking With Style Pillows

Girl having her hair cut

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Builders fashion range

Three-way mirror

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Suits you Sir!

Dentists who do appendectomies.

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

Store sells too short t-shirts.

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'Can't believe they didn't have your size.'

"Whoah, triple denim!"

"My fortune cookie says to call the food poisoning hotline."

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

'It's just a bit of pond weed tied to my bottom but it makes me feel so much younger!'

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.