Joking With Style Pillows

Girl having her hair cut

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Men dancing

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Three-way mirror

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Builder's Crack T-shirt

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Store sells too short t-shirts.

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Suits you Sir!

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"Whoah, triple denim!"

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

'Good grief-it's Doris'