Joking Disciplinarians Gifts

'You just wait until your father gets home.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

'Remember Spike, he gets a 1/2 hour lunch. ONe minute more and you attack!'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"Worms."

"Are you wearing a sports bra?"

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"Bad dog!"

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

Kid to kid: 'I had my sentence reduced to a couple of hours in my room.'

'It's disgusting! He just sits and licks his balls all day.'

Stupid cell phone. One more thing he hated about walking her yappy little dog.

'This is not the seating plan your teacher left me.'

'Your loyalty is unquestionable, but you just don't seem to be able to learn new procedures.'

'He must be pleased with me. He's wagging his finger.'

'My teacher and I have irrenconcilable differences.'