Jokesters About Fears Pillows

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Thanks for the worm, but I almost got this stupid hook stuck in my mouth.'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Robot porn.

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

"It was worth a try."

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'