Jokester Extraordinaire Gifts

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"That new kid came up to me today. He said 'hi,' but I couldn't remember his name."

I told you, head-butting's a lot funnier with bubble wrap on!

"I was going to stay home and watch TV, but I decided it'd be more fun to bring my mysterious rash for share and tell."

'The CEO had inexplicably been given the wrong date for Dress-down Friday.'

'He'll want you to try the Winelich maneuver first, instead of the Heimlich -- it brings up the food, but leaves the wine.'

'Lift off, we have lift off...'

Unscrupulous practices in ophthalmology.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Gallery Pranks

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

Kick me

"Would you mind filling this with confetti?"

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).