Jokester About Paths Pillows

-Last again! -I had to stay behind the others because I didn't know the way!

Airport Security.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"I hate this time of year."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

Farts.

'Do you think anyone will notice my funny hat shaped like a fish?'

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'He's not here.He's out on a sting operation.'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Man shouting 'timberrrr!'

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'