Cycling Jokester Pillows

Why politicians shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Bicycle sat nav.

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Very drunk professional cyclist

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Which was harder to work out - quantum physics or his wife's mind"

Cleaning the Horse

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

La Tour 2007.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Power steering.'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

Clown Bike Rack

Retirement became the obvious decision.

'Don't be so velodramatic!'

Doctor Jekyll. Whenever I get stuck formulating my potion, I go jogging. You can run, but you can't Hyde!

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'