Jokester About Creature Quirks Pillows

"Well yes, technically penguin's are flightless birds..."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Not now, Oliver."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

'Do you think anyone will notice my funny hat shaped like a fish?'

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

Black Hole Corks

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

The First Man to Ride the Moon

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."