Jokester About Creature Quirks T-Shirts

"Well yes, technically penguin's are flightless birds..."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Not now, Oliver."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

Black Hole Corks

The First Man to Ride the Moon

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Do you think anyone will notice my funny hat shaped like a fish?'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

New Planets