Jokester About Corporate Chaos Gifts

'All this will be yours while I serve my sentence.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

'In dog years, I have seniority.'

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Productivity may be up but I miss seeing people miserable."

'How are you at takeovers?'

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

'Hello, parent company? -- the guy at the next desk keeps LOOKING at me!'

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

'He looks like executive material, but all he does is eat mackerel and complain about the air conditioner being down!'