Joker's Apprentice Pillows

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Hi-yah!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'She's still a novice yet.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Long-legged clown...

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

Just a little heads up!

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

"Do you really think this will work?"

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

'How long have you been with us now, Jeffrey?'

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

"Great act - but let's see how he does on the written test."

"Any other strengths?"

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

"Believe it or not, but we're Batman and Robin off duty!"

"Take no notice. It's just Norman being sarcastic again."

'I love being a rich executive so please don't let me get so bad that I won't be suspended with pay.'

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'